Ambiance: Journey to the Health Center

I decided that any trips/special outings I take will fall under the "Ambiance" category. Well, today I got to go on a special outing indeed. No, okay, it wasn't that exciting. But it was unusual, ergo it was technically "special".

Today I got to walk to the student health center. Yippee... Here's what happened (warning, it's kind of gross): on Thursday I got one of those annoying little ingrown-hair cysts in my armpit. Irritating when trying to shave, but nothing too drastic.

Then on Friday I was getting dressed and I realized that said cyst was pretty painful. Wearing tight sleeves proved to be a mistake. When I went to bed that night, I slept with my arm above my head, because it hurt to lower my arm on the cyst. But I thought the pain would go away--that it probably just had to do with my tight sleeves.

Alas, on Saturday the cyst was even worse. Putting on deodorant was painful (but of course I managed--I'm not some kind of savage). I was still in denial, though. I thought, "Surely it will be better by tomorrow. It's just my stupid sleeves rubbing it raw." Besides, I had no free time to just go walk to the health center in the spur of the moment.

But then yesterday (Sunday) was excruciatingly painful. It hurt like the dickens, and it wasn't just the cyst itself anymore. The area all around it was sensitive, and there was a large, sensitive lump underneath it.

I couldn't take the pain anymore, and WebMD (in its typical dramatic way) warned me to call a doctor RIGHT AWAY. So I made an appointment for this morning. Thankfully, my last class of the day was canceled, so I got to the appointment an hour early and they were able to see me right away.

I hate doctors' offices. And dentists' offices. They try to brighten the place up with fun paintings on the walls and magazines on the tables, but it does little to distract me from the fact that everything is cheap, white, and stainless. The people, especially the doctors, are super friendly, but I still always feel like a sheep going through the slaughterhouse. "Come this way. Hold out your arm. Step on this. Relax. Deep breath."

I'm always just sitting there waiting for exact instructions, because I'm unsure how to act on my own agency in a clinic. When they say breathe deep, do I hold my breath or let it out?? When they say to wait 15 minutes, are they gonna come back in 15 minutes, or can I just keep track of time and leave when the time's up? When they say to make a return appointment, what exactly do I tell the receptionist? Am I allowed to take one of those suckers in that jar?? So many questions!

Anyways, I tried to play it cool as I showed the doctor my disgusting armpit cyst infection. She poked and prodded it (which hurt so bad that I wanted to punch something), then announced that it was much worse than just an infected cyst. Apparently it's become a "soft-tissue infection". Which I guess is worse. I don't know doctor things.

I was so worried (thanks to WebMD) that she was going to take a scalpel to my cyst and just drain the thing right then and there. Fortunately, she said it will most likely go away if we just fill my system with antibiotics. She marked the swollen area with a sharpie, and said, "Come back tomorrow and we'll see how it looks. In the meantime, we're gonna prescribe you an antibiotic, and we'll have to inject you with another antibiotic. A big one in your bum."

Those were her EXACT WORDS. Way to deliver the news sensitively, doc.

"Eh heh. Sure... Go right ahead..."

It wasn't that bad, honestly. It stung, but I knew it would make the worse pain in my stupid armpit go away, so I couldn't complain. They had me wait 15 minutes to make sure I wouldn't react badly to the antibiotics, and then sent me to the counter to get a prescription. I need to take two antibiotics in the morning and two at night (for like the next two weeks), and also down a ton of ibuprofen every four to six hours. I'm ALSO supposed to put a hot compress on the infected area like four times a day. And then I have to go back to the health center tomorrow so they can verify that the infection is going down.

So... I missed work. I had to take tons of drugs and put on a hot compress, something I didn't think would be conducive to my work environment. Great. 'Cause I can totally afford to lose $40 just to stay home from work and treat a stupid cyst that got carried away.

Good news, though, is that the swelling has already gone down a ton (which I can tell thanks to the sharpie circle on my armpit), and this should hopefully be a one-day-only problem. I'm hopped up on painkillers and antibiotics, the swelling is going down, and once I get cleared by a doctor first thing tomorrow, I should be good to go.

The moral of the story is that you should be smarter than I was and just use a hot compress and take a ton of ibuprofen when a cyst becomes painful.

This is how I'm feeling right now.