Deadline: Graduation and Beyond

Well, even though this didn't have an actual deadline (aside from Graduation Day itself), I'm glad that I got this out of the way.

I'm graduating. I can't even believe it. All my life, this is as far as I've ever gotten when it came to goal-making. It was always, "Get good grades so you can go to BYU." Then it was "Work hard at BYU so you can get a degree." Well... now I'm getting a degree and... what do I do after this?

Not gonna lie, I kind of planned on being married at this point. I wanted a smooth transition from Student to Mother. Instead I'm going from Student to... Single Adult? Employee? Hermit?

Actually, it's kind of exciting, knowing that I can be whatever I want until Awesome Future Husband comes along. I feel like a balloon that's just going to be left to drift through an open sky. It's scary, but at the same time I'm pretty darn free. I can keep living with my own, independent expenses, while having no other obligation except to work hard and earn more money. I can live with that. For now.

It just seems kind of lonely. College life is awesome--it'll be hard to leave. Especially if I don't really have anything worthwhile to leave for.

I've been hoping and praying and working to get a Church internship, but so far I haven't heard anything. My friend has, though. They called her yesterday and offered her one of the internships I was hoping to get. And here I am just checking my phone every two seconds waiting for my own call. They're hiring through Monday, but I still would like to get called sooner rather than later. I don't know what I'll do if I don't get this job.

There are other possibilities, of course, and I trust that God has a plan that will send me in the direction that will help me most in life. It may be confusing and stressful at first, but I'm confident that things will work out. If I don't get this internship I wanted, I'll find the internship or job that I need.

If nothing else seems certain right now, I am certain about that. God is watching out for me. He's helped me through so much already, and He'll help me again. I may be a balloon drifting aimlessly through the sky, but He's the wind that carries me in the right direction.