Sunday Soliloquy: I Know That My Redeemer Lives

I was a mess yesterday, which is why I didn't post this sooner. Some things went very wrong earlier this week, and I'm struggling to recover. I was so depressed that I almost didn't go to church at all. I thought, "I'll just go to Sacrament meeting, then go home." But then once I got there, every talk and every song was exactly what I needed to hear. It was so comforting that I just wanted to stay forever.

First in Sacrament meeting they talked about Christ's Atonement and His infinite love, and we sang "I Know That My Redeemer Lives." It's one of those songs that we hear so often in the Church, but yesterday the verses hit me hard, and I had to fight not to cry as I stood in front of the entire congregation leading the music.

The middle two verses were especially poignant:

2. He lives to grant me rich supply. He lives to guide me with his eye. He lives to comfort me when faint. He lives to hear my soul's complaint. He lives to silence all my fears. He lives to wipe away my tears. He lives to calm my troubled heart. He lives, all blessings to impart. 

3. He lives, my kind, wise, heavenly friend. He lives and loves me to the end. He lives, and while he lives, I'll sing. He lives, my prophet, priest, and king. He lives to grant me daily breath. He lives and I shall conquer death. He lives, my mansion to prepare. He lives to bring me safely there. 

Then our Sunday School lesson was more about Christ's love. The teacher told the story of Christ raising Lazarus from the dead, but focused on the fact that even though Christ knew that everything was going to be alright and that He could raise Lazarus again, He still wept with Mary and Martha, feeling their pain and mourning with them.

It was a good reminder that even though Christ knows exactly how things will turn out for us and knows that our lives will get better after a tragedy, He still is the first to cry with us. He empathizes with our grief and is always there for us, understanding perfectly how we feel even when we try to hide it from those around us.

Finally, one of the teachers played this song called "Blessings in Disguise," which I've heard playing at Deseret Book before, yet I never really listened to the words.

Here's a video for it that I found on YouTube so you can listen to it yourself.



And while the rest of my Sunday wasn't exactly puppies and rainbows, I was still very glad that I went to church today and was reminded that my Savior is there or me, even when I feel completely alone.