Freewrite: Country Dancing

I have a confession. I am really insecure when it comes to dancing.

Dances are probably my least favorite social events. I'm the kind of person that likes playing games with a small group, where we can laugh and talk together and really get to know one another.

See doesn't this look fun? I bet one of those girls gets engaged to that guy by the end of the day. 

Dances are the exact opposite. It's crowded and loud and sweaty and so shallow that you never really get to know new people. At least, not unless you leave the dance hall and talk somewhere quieter.

"Oh sorry, I thought you were my friend. Have you seen my friend? How do I get out of here? What'd you say?"

Plus, random dancing just isn't my thing. I don't know what to do with my arms. Or my hips. Or my feet. I just kind of jump up and down and whip my hair back and forth and hope that by at least moving and pretending to have fun I'll avoid detection as "The Girl Who Can't Dance".

But I've always loved the idea of really learning how to dance. There's nothing quite so mesmerizing (to me, at least) as a couple who can just get together and dance so gracefully, it's like they've been practicing their whole lives. Swing, salsa, country, waltz, hip-hop--it doesn't matter what kind of dance, I would love to do it if I just knew how.

Of course, learning how to do it requires dance classes. Which involve dancing with strangers. And showing everyone that you can't dance. So... I've never taken a dance class. As much as I love the idea.

So when it turned out that a guy I like loves going dancing every week, I was both extra attracted to him and extra insecure.

The first time he asked me to go swing dancing with him and his friends, I was an idiot and said no because A) I really did already have plans, B) I psyched myself out and convinced myself that I wasn't sure if he really liked me, and C) I can't dance.

My friends gave me a super hard time for not going (because that really was stupid of me, and really I could've changed my plans), and so this last week I decided to avoid the same situation.

I knew that he and his friends were going to go dancing again on Tuesday night, and I knew that if I was home, they would come around and invite me, and I knew that I wouldn't be in the mood again.

So I did the cowardly, passive-aggressive thing. After dinner, I went back on campus and stayed there until 9:00pm, specifically to avoid the dance-goers.

"Please don't see me. Please don't see me. I'm not home."

I know, I know, I'm an idiot. And I'm really only posting this because I know any friends who would tease me about it don't follow my blog.

Thankfully, Heavenly Father must have also thought I was an idiot, because He arranged an intervention.

It was 9:10pm, and I thought, "Okay. They leave the Colony at 9:00, which means that if I go home now, they'll already be at the dance. I'm safe." I packed up my things and headed for home.

To my horror, as I was exiting the building, the dance group was entering.

Keep in mind, I was in the JKB, which is a Linguistics and English Language building. There's no dance rooms there. So it was the most divine-intervention-y thing that when their swing dance club was canceled, they decided to clear a classroom in the JKB and country dance there instead.

I mean really, what are the odds??

"You guys will not believe what happened today."

They were so happy to see me, of course, and immediately invited me to join them in some country dance. My first thought was, "Oh well at least I've been studying all day. Now I have an excuse to go home."

That's exactly what I told them, too. They were disappointed, but they said goodnight and I headed on my way.

I made it to the bottom of the building steps before something made me stop.

It was the weirdest thing. I just stopped short before I even thought to. Something inside me said, Carly, you need to go back and hang out with them. Come on, girl!

"No," I told the voice. "I was specifically trying to avoid this."

I took another three steps, and then stopped again. This wasn't an accident. No way. This is your chance to get to know those people better. And really, what are the odds that you'll hate it? You might have the time of your life! Get in there!!

Still internally protesting, I found myself turning around and running back into the building, hoping I hadn't lost the group.

"Okay, okay, I'm going."

They hadn't gone far. I found them in an empty classroom, where they'd pushed and stacked all the desks against the walls and used the classroom computer to play a country music station on Pandora.

As expected, they were super surprised when I came dashing into the room, saying, "I changed my mind. I'm tired of studying. I want to do something fun tonight."

They were so happy to have me! Everyone quickly paired up and started dancing to the music. For about thirty seconds, I hung back by the wall, watching how coordinated they were and hoping I would be included and have fun.

Enter Greg. Definitely the resident expert in Country Dance, he immediately asked me to dance with him, then walked me through some basic dance moves.

He was the perfect instructor. I barely even had to think about what to do. He just took my hands and pushed or spun or pulled so smoothly that I always knew what I was expected to do. For probably the first time in my whole life, I felt like I was dancing.

It helped that the footwork was so simple. Aside from a two-step, the rest of the time it's just what you do with your hands that matters, and that was easy because we were holding hands the whole time.

It was perfect! It was awesome! I had an absolute blast!

Even more fun than these people are having!

The only downside was that I wasn't wearing good dancing clothes. I was wearing only a tank top under a jacket, so when we got moving and it got hot I couldn't take off my jacket.

Also, I wasn't wearing a good sporty bra, and the dancing involved a lot of reaching your arms over your head. So... everything kept falling out of place, if you know what I mean.

Thankfully my jacket hid enough of it, but there just came a point where I had to step back and say, "Okay whoa I need to step out for a minute and readjust." Of course that was the instant that the guy I like asked me to dance with him.

I hope he didn't think my crestfallen expression was because I didn't want to dance with him. I just told him I needed a second out in the hallway for some fresh air. I ran out there and fixed my clothes a bit, and then as soon as he was done dancing with another girl I asked for my turn with him.

I think I smoothed everything over, but you know, I'm insecure so I'm trying not to convince myself that he now thinks I hate him and didn't want to dance with him.

Long story short, I learned a lot of super fun country dance moves. I successfully had a positive dancing experience where I felt completely competent. I got to know new people. People I already knew saw me as more fun and spontaneous. And I had a wonderful time.

So I'm pretty thankful to Heavenly Father for setting that all up. I thought I could hide my cowardice from my roommates and my dancing friends, but of course I couldn't hide it from God. He was just watching me pretend to study on campus for four hours, thinking, "Oh no, this won't do. We need to get this girl to do something fun." Then he set it up just perfectly for me to run into the very group I was avoiding. In a building it made no sense for them to go to for a dance party. So that I could have a very enjoyable night, when I'd been planning on being a loner.

Isn't life awesome?

Enjoy some more photos. Because this post didn't have enough already. These ones are actually of my friends. I'm not in any of them, and my camera phone fails at action shots, but try to enjoy.