Sunday Soliloquy: Life is a Puzzle

(Sorry for no update yesterday. I was super busy and tired. You'll hear all about it tomorrow.)


While I was on my mission, I had good days and I had bad days. I worked hard through most challenges, and got over my homesickness whenever it came, but one of the particularly hardest days I can remember was my birthday.

Our Paraguayan friends were so nice that day, and my family sent cards and gifts from home, but I was still just sad all day. Now I can't even remember exactly why, besides the fact that I was so far away from my family and friends.

I just remember that I ended that day on my knees for my nightly prayers, and I basically said "Heavenly Father, today was the worst birthday of my life." I buried my face in my mattress to hide my tears from my companion. In my aching heart I just kept asking, "Why? Why did this birthday have to be so miserable?"

This is me in Paraguay. This is the only picture on this post that I actually own.

Almost as soon as I said the words in my head, I felt a flood of guilt, and an old memory came to mind. When we were little, my sisters and I loved Beanie Babies. One day, my grandma came over and she brought us mini Beanie Babies as gifts. It was no special occasion, she just loved us and wanted to make us happy.

Well, sadly, Amanda was in a horrible mood that day, and when my grandma arrived she was in the middle of a tantrum. She took one look at her gift, then threw it right back at my grandma, screaming, "I don't WANT a stupid hippo!" I'll never forget how stunned (and more than a bit hurt) my grandma looked.

So there I was in Paraguay. I remembered that look on my grandma's face, and I realized that I was essentially mirroring Amanda's tantrum. God gives good gifts (Luke 11:13). Every day is a gift. And there I was, crying and saying, "I don't WANT this stupid birthday!"

I would never reject a gift here in mortality, no matter how much I might not like it. What right did I have to spurn a hard day? Especially since I fully believe that every day, even a terrible one, ultimately leads to the greatest gift of God--eternal life (D&C 14:7).

So I stopped my tears and apologized to my Heavenly Father for my tantrum, and thanked Him instead for giving me hard days. Because I knew then (and I try to remember now) that hard days make me a better person, which is a good gift, indeed.

Anyways, after contemplating that day throughout the next week after my birthday, I came up with a metaphor that I'm rather proud of.

Life is a puzzle.

Imagine that every single day of your life, you receive a single puzzle piece. Some days, you can look at the piece and tell where it fits into a larger picture. It's a beautiful piece, with a butterfly or a flower on it, and you love it. You thank God for such a pretty piece.

Other days, the piece might have only a glimpse of a flower petal, or you can't tell what it is but it has a pretty color, so you're grateful. You know the piece must have a place in the end. You trust that you'll see its value later.

Still other days, the piece is just ugly. It has no form to it. It has a muddy color. You find it very hard to love it. It may, in fact, make you very unhappy. You want to just cast it aside, and you pine for prettier pieces to come your way.

But, at the end of your life, you've got all the pieces. Everything comes together, and you can see how even the ugly pieces had a place in the amazing puzzle they fit together to form.

Every day really is like a random puzzle piece. Some days are wonderful start to finish. Other days aren't all good or all bad, and they pass by without affecting your attitude much. Other days are just terrible. Every life has its different share of good and bad days, but I KNOW that all of us, in the end, will see the completed puzzle of our lives, and realize that every day truly was a good gift from God.

So appreciate every day. Even the bad ones. It will all come together. You don't have to take my word for it. "Search diligently, pray always, and be believing, and all things shall work together for your good" (D&C 90:24).